The boring version?
Katie L. Fetting is a creative with extensive experience in marketing, journalism, and the entertainment business.
She’s collaborated with clients from Lucky Brand Jeans and David’s Bridal to Getty Images and Autoweek, helping drive strategy and execution at the integrated Internet marketing agency Portent, Inc.
Two of her screenplays were produced into the films “Method,” starring Elizabeth Hurley, and “Homecoming,” starring Mischa Barton. Five more were optioned.
Currently residing in Chicago, Katie previously lived and worked in Los Angeles and Seattle, Wa.
The Kanye West-inspired version
Katie L. Fetting is a lover. And a fighter. She’s amazing at both.
She’s never been fired. Puppies adore her. African warlords fear her. When the Most Interesting Man in the World proposed, she said no. She’s survived 18 assassination attempts. There are rumors she’s part bionic.
Shit happens? Not when Katie’s around. And when Bo Jackson told her to “Just do it,” she DID IT.
Let’s face it: she is a genius, though she’s never interrupted a Taylor Swift speech.
Jane Austen’s Katie Fetting
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in search of suitable employment is open to new adventures.
Such is the case with me, Katie L. Fetting, a woman of 30-something who, though happily settled in my personal life, finds a burning desire in my heart for a quality position with a firm of good repute.
Pray indulge a small amount of conceit as I elucidate my qualifications and history:
- Former employers have judged my written and verbal communication skills beyond reproach.
- I am punctual and most fulfilled when engaged in pleasing and challenging work in the company of others.
- I have been accused of dwelling in fanciful and creative thinking, yet I believe these same qualities recommend me for your line of employment.
- Whilst I lived with my parents from ages 1 through 18, I have subsequently travelled the country, settling first in Los Angeles, California, and then Seattle in Washington State. I am happy to convey that I am now returned home.
Please contact me if you judge I could prove useful to you in your commercial concerns.
With warmest regards for your health and well-being,
Miss Katie Fetting
KATIE L. FETTING CREATIVE SEEKING INSPIRED EMPLOYMENT STOP
THRIVES UNDER PRESSURE DEMANDS BEST OF HERSELF OTHERS STOP
FREEDOM CREATIVITY HIGH STANDARDS MUSTS STOP
LITTLE DANGER A BONUS STOP